Biting, hitting and defiance in the classroom: What actually works

Prevent first, then teach. Most biting, hitting and defiance is a young child’s way to get something or escape something, so the winning plan pairs a predictable day and taught replacement skills with calm, brief responses, good notes and a real partnership with families.

By our editors · Facts checked October 7, 2026. This guide is general information, not medical advice.

The short version

• Behavior is communication. Ask what the child gets, or avoids, by biting, hitting or refusing.
• Prevention does most of the work: a predictable day, picture schedules, warnings before transitions and a few clear rules you actually teach.
• In the moment, keep everyone safe, help the hurt child first and use few words. Teach later, when the child is calm.
• Write it down. Patterns tell you what to change and when to call for backup.
• Massachusetts group programs need written steps to avoid suspending a child for behavior, and the state funds mental health consultants who can help.

Is classroom behavior really getting worse?

You’re not imagining it. In a January 2025 NAEYC survey of more than 10,000 educators, 47% said their burnout had grown worse over the past year, partly because of too few resources for children’s behavioral challenges.

A California first-grade teacher told The Hechinger Report in 2026 that her students are “so much more physical” than they used to be. If it’s grinding you down, read our guide to early childhood teacher burnout.

Your map: the Pyramid Model

The Pyramid Model is a framework of evidence-based practices for young children’s social and emotional development, and it works alongside your curriculum. The National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations (NCPMI) at the University of South Florida maintains it with federal funding.

Does it work? In two randomized trials, teachers rated preschoolers with challenging behavior as improving more than children in comparison classrooms. Here are the tiers:

Level	Who it’s for	What it looks like
Foundation	Your whole program	Policies, training and coaching for teachers
Tier 1: Universal	Every child	Warm relationships, a predictable day, an organized room
Tier 2: Targeted	Children at risk	Planned teaching of feelings, calming down, friendship and problem solving
Tier 3: Intensive	A very small number of children	An individual plan built with the family

Prevent: set up the day and the room

• Make the day predictable. Post a picture schedule at eye level. A “first, then” board (first clean up, then outside) helps kids who struggle with change. NCPMI has free schedule and transition resources.
• Smooth transitions. Massachusetts licensing rules call for predictable, unhurried transitions with advance notice, no long waits and not always moving as one big group.
• Keep rules few and positive. Say what to do: “Gentle hands.” Teach each rule with pictures and practice, and let kids help make rules when you can.
• Offer real choices. Many “no” moments are about control. “Hop like a bunny or tiptoe like a mouse?” dodges the standoff.
• Cut crowding and waiting. Stock duplicates of popular toys and keep the small quiet area state rules require for kids who need a break.
• Plan for biting. Toddlers bite while teething, exploring or frustrated, so NAEYC suggests safe things to chew, like a teething ring or a cold, wet washcloth.

Teach the skills kids are missing

A child who hits or bites needs a better way to meet the same need. NCPMI advises teaching these skills during calm times, not mid-meltdown:

• Words or signs for “Stop,” “Mine,” “Help, please” and “I need a break”
• Feelings words, taught with pictures, books and puppets
• A calm-down routine, like slow breaths or squeezing a soft ball
• Simple problem solving: ask for a turn, trade, use a timer or get a teacher

Practice with role play, then point out the skill when you see it; it should earn more attention than the old behavior. For more, try our play-based lesson ideas.

Respond in the moment

1. Safety first. Care for a hurt child before anything else. For a bite that breaks the skin, HeadStart.gov advises washing with soap and warm water and a cool cloth for swelling.
2. Use few words. “No biting. Biting hurts.” Then one short direction about what to do instead.
3. Keep your reaction small. A big reaction can become the reward. Don’t lecture, shame or label a child a “biter.”
4. Praise a nearby child using the skill you want, then praise the child who struggled when they use it too.
5. Reconnect. Once the child is calm, join their play. It shows the relationship is still safe.

Massachusetts rules (606 CMR 7.05) ban physical punishment, humiliation, threats and harsh remarks, and you can’t take away meals, snacks or outdoor time. A time-out can’t exceed one minute per year of age, within an educator’s view.

Write it down

NCPMI’s Behavior Incident Report System tracks the child, the activity, the behavior, the likely reason and how adults responded. Add the time of day. If most bites happen right before lunch, the fix may be an earlier snack.

Programs can also check whether some groups of children, by race, gender, disability or home language, get written up more often. Keep incident and injury reports in the child’s file, as state rules require.

Partner with families

• Start with what’s going well, then describe the behavior plainly: when, where and how often. Ask what works at home.
• Agree on one or two strategies for both places. NAEYC notes habits take weeks to change, so set a check-in date.
• Tell the family of a hurt child what happened, the first aid given and your plan, while protecting the other family’s privacy.
• State rules require telling parents about serious injuries right away, minor first aid by day’s end, and in writing within 24 hours.

For scripts that keep the talk calm, see how to talk to parents about a behavior or development concern.

When should I ask for more help?

Loop in your director if behavior lasts several weeks or someone keeps getting hurt. HeadStart.gov notes that ongoing biting at ages 3 to 5 is unusual and a reason to look at development.

The Department of Early Education and Care (EEC) funds Early Childhood Mental Health Consultation through five regional organizations covering the state (find yours by city or town). Consultants observe, coach teachers, help write behavior support plans and connect families to services.

For persistent behavior, NCPMI lays out a team process: family and teachers gather information, make a best guess about why the behavior happens, then write and track a plan with prevention steps, a replacement skill and new adult responses.

Avoid suspension and expulsion

Sending a child home doesn’t teach a new skill, and it lands hardest on some kids. NCPMI reports preschoolers are suspended up to three times as often as K–12 students, and in 2012 federal data Black children were 18% of preschoolers but nearly half of preschool suspensions.

Massachusetts group and school-age programs must spell out in writing how they avoid suspension or termination for behavior (606 CMR 7.04): a family meeting about alternatives, referrals for evaluation or therapy, consultation and staff training, and a behavior plan for home and program. If a program does suspend or terminate, it owes parents written reasons and any conditions for return. Head Start may not expel a child for behavior.

For children who need extra support

• For a child with a speech delay or autism, hitting may be the fastest way to say “stop.” Offer picture cards or signs. State rules require a way to communicate effectively with each child.
• If the child has an Individualized Family Service Plan (IFSP) or Individualized Education Program (IEP), use its strategies and, with the family’s permission, coordinate with therapists. Here’s how to support IFSP and IEP goals in the classroom.
• If you suspect a delay, suggest the family talk with the pediatrician. Early Intervention (EI) serves birth to age 3; the public school district evaluates children 3 and older. Get the parent’s consent before contacting outside providers about the child.
• Under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), most child care programs must make reasonable changes for children with disabilities and assess each child individually.

More in our inclusive care section.

Common questions

Can I use time-out in a Massachusetts program?

Only briefly: one minute per year of age at most, with the child in an educator’s view. A cozy spot where children choose to calm down, taught ahead of time, is a different tool.

Can a program expel a child for hitting or biting?

Massachusetts group programs must first follow their written prevention steps and give written reasons for any suspension or termination. Head Start can’t expel for behavior, and disability law requires an individual look at each child.

When should I ask for a behavior consultant?

When a plan hasn’t helped after several weeks, when injuries keep happening or when you feel stuck. Asking early is good practice, not failure.

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Sources

• Pyramid Model Basics (NCPMI)
• Pyramid Model Tiers (NCPMI)
• Implementing the Pyramid Model: Evidence Summary (NCPMI)
• Tips for Responding to Challenging Behavior in Young Children (NCPMI)
• PBS Process (NCPMI)
• Behavior Incident Report System (NCPMI)
• Schedules, Routines and Transitions Resources (NCPMI)
• Suspension and Expulsion in Early Childhood (NCPMI)
• Biting: A Fact Sheet for Families (HeadStart.gov)
• 45 CFR 1302.17 Suspension and Expulsion (HeadStart.gov)
• Understanding and Responding to Children Who Bite (NAEYC)
• NAEYC Survey Shows Child Care in Unsustainable Status Quo (NAEYC, 2025)
• Biting, Kicking, Wandering the Classroom (The Hechinger Report, 2026)
• 606 CMR 7.04: Administration (Justia Regulations)
• 606 CMR 7.05: Interactions Among Adults and Children (Justia Regulations)
• 606 CMR 7.06: Curriculum and Progress Reports (Justia Regulations)
• 606 CMR 7.08: Family Involvement (Justia Regulations)
• Healey-Driscoll Administration Awards Nearly $5 Million to Expand Early Childhood Mental Health Support (Mass.gov)
• Early Childhood Mental Health Consultation Grantees by City and Town (Mass.gov)
• Commonly Asked Questions About Child Care Centers and the ADA (ADA.gov)
• About Massachusetts Early Intervention (EI) (Mass.gov)
• Early Childhood Special Education (Massachusetts DESE)